The Profit Prophet

This post is taken from a page of Steven Wright. He is the famous, erudite scientist who once quipped,: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do and here is a list of some of his funniest ones. They made me stop, think, and laugh. ________________________________________ 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists, they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - ...