The Profit Prophet

The great thing about history, is that we do NOT necessarily need to repeat it and many of the customs, traditions and idioms come directly from a history long ago forgotten. Like, did you ever wonder where the phrase "Piss Poor" come from?    A long time ago, they used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot. They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low. So....The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were start...

While I am a big fan of Marriage, sadly in our modern age, it has become more about entering into a business contract that the blissful relationship of love.  And, since many now see it as a business I thought I would list some marriage wisdom, so to speak.    +++++++++++ You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. +++++++++++ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' +++++++++++ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' +++++++++++ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. +++++++++++ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . +++++++++++ A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?...

Oh amore, how we have such great expectations, of passion, and romance, and tenderness, and kindness...especially on Valentine's Day...Well, this story puts those idealistic sentiments to rest.    A couple was out on Valentine's Day shopping at the mall and it was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.  She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.  In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"  The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."  He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it.”  Happy Valentines …

Many a time we think we know what our customers or partners want, but many times, what they are saying is NOT what were are expecting.  Sometimes being rejected is the best thing for our growth and understanding in where our place is in life.  This post was fitting since it involves being rejected, and have an expectation that leads to well, something totally unintended.  Oh, and remember, that is what business is all about... ******************************************* Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.' I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....they will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty ...

Of course, there is NOT SUCH THIN G as a real perfect husband, but to all the guys who have ever done this , kudos.  Fidelity is NOT about being faithful to someone else, but being true to yourself! __________________________________ A man woke up in the morning still dressed with a terrible hangover, and could not remember what he had done the night before. On the table next to the bed he saw two aspirins, a glass of water, and a note from his wife, saying "Honey, there is a hot breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. Love you lots! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order; spotlessly clean. He quickly notices that the rest of the house looks extremely clean. He decides to get up and stumbles into the bathroom where notices he has a very swollen and very black and blue eye. After showering and shaving, he goes to the kitchen as he passes the hall he sees that the mirror is broken. At this point he is very perplexed. He realizes that his son is in...

This post goes right to the point of a guy’s ability to truly be sensitive to his spouse’s needs during that most vulnerable time of pregnancy, and how humor can play a part. Touching but oh, so true.  ________________________________________  The hospital class room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.  She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.  She looked at the men in the room, "and gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.  The...

Ladies, every wonder why guys are so difficult? It is because of our Hardware, Firmware, and Software installation of Husband1.0. I hope you know understand why it is so difficult to do! Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0 , MONEY 3.0 and SPORTS 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Jane Frustrated Luddite _______________________________ Reply Dear Madam, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Ent...

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” ~David Bissonete  “After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together..” ~Sacha Guitry  “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” ~Socrates  “The great question which I have not been able to answer is,‘What does a woman want?’” ~Dumas “I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.” ~James Holt McGavra    “There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.” ~Sam Kinison    “I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” ~Sigmund Freud    “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candleli...

This is a tale of what people throw away...sometimes in business we miss the really important things, like making our customers happy, or selling what you believe, not just for profits. Enjoy this tale of caution.... A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Jeff! All he wants is sex, and my vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be about the size of a 5 cent piece." Her mother says, "You're married to a multimillionaire businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"

We all are going to face our mortality, but sometimes having a good perspective helps. Hope you enjoy this Fryday Humor post? ______________________________________________ The couple were 85 years old and had been married for 60 years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.' The ol...