The Profit Prophet

While I am a big fan of Marriage, sadly in our modern age, it has become more about entering into a business contract that the blissful relationship of love.  And, since many now see it as a business I thought I would list some marriage wisdom, so to speak.    +++++++++++ You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. +++++++++++ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' +++++++++++ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' +++++++++++ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. +++++++++++ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished . +++++++++++ A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?...

Your father probably told you a few things, but just in case he wasn’t around enough, here are some words of wisdom you might have missed out on: Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once. Keep a change of clothes at the office. Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat. Every hat should serve a purpose. Never take her to the movies on the first date. Learn to wet shave. Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit. Shave with the grain on the first go-around. Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger. Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift, and play sports. Brush your teeth before you put on your tie. A small amount of your paycheck should go directly to your savings account every month. Call Mom and Dad every week. Never wear a clip-on tie. Give a firm handshake. Compliment her shoes. Never leave a pint unfinished. If you aren’t confident, fake ...

They say youth is wasted on the young. So, what are you doing to prevent wasting yours?   I wish I had this list 30 years ago.   Still, as Jonathan Swift wrote: “ No wise man ever wished to be younger."   Take these to heart. 1. Not traveling when you had the chance. Being you (young) means you have a lot less responsibilities. Traveling becomes infinitely harder the older you get, especially if you have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead of just yourself. “There are three cures for ennui: sleep, drink and travel." --D.H. Lawrence 2. Not learning another language. Boy, remember how much you hated Spanish, French, or Latin in School? You will kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it and English is NOT spoken everywhere. 3. Left a Bad Relationship Sooner If it is not working, learn to leave, but first learn to love yourself. We all think the relationship we are i...

A good friend forward this list to me...that was given to a group of college students entering ECON 101.... most make a lot of sense and have some great advice. 1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them. 2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message. 3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck. 5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government. 6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it. 7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’. 8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 9. Don’t dumb it down. 10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut. 11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack. 12. Never park in front of a bar. 13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly. 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend. 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 16. A suntan i...

A wise philosopher was once asked, "What is it like to thirst?" by a man in his village... He looked at the man, grinned... Then grabbed him swiftly by the back of his coat, and drug him over violently to a nearby fountain... the man fought, but it was to no avail...he was the thrust, headfirst into the fountain... The philosopher forced the man's head down without any signs of mercy... The man fought with all of his life, but he was growing weaker by the moment, as the air was being used up in his lungs. He started to go limp...and at that very moment, the philosopher pulled him out of the water... The man gasped for air, grateful to be alive...exhausted...he laid on the ground... The philosopher said to him, "That's what it's like to thirst." So...what makes you passionate in life...what would you die for, what takes your breathe away? Unless you know what that is, and pursue that knowledge you are just wandering. Without this drive, th...

Many times I am asked about how can you tell if someone is giving you good or bad advice about a business, or marketing strategy, or investment, and while looking at their track record is a good idea, you also have to look at how broad base their knowledge and experience is in general.  The more narrow a person's focus is, the less ability they have to understand the unintended and unforeseen consequences of the advice they are giving you.  I will use the example below to put it into better perspective. ________________________________________ A young Texas farm couple, Ole and Lena, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Ole left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ole came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their "nooner"; it took Ole a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work...

We all want a fountain of youth, but did you know staying young may be easier than you think? Here are some nuggets worth remembering on the subject.... ________________________________________ 1. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!" …also some mistakes are too much fun to make only once! (except past bad relationships..when it is over, it is over!) 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. Get rid of them! (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!) 3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever... Never let the brain get idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's! 4. Enjoy the simple things. Like a glass of wine, the sun rise / set, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek. Pizza, Popcorn, Walks in the Park, Downpours, Cats & Dogs! 5. Laugh often, long an...

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial...

In all our lives, we go through periods where a little advice might have come in really handy.  Sort of like a "cliff-notes" for getting by or little phrases that help us look at our situation differently.  Hopefully, these 41 quips help you in some way? 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 9. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it. 10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 11. It's OK to let your children see you cry 12. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their ...