The Profit Prophet

There have been tomes written about management styles, and what works best to motivate employees to produce the best product or service for the end customer.  While this is all well and good, what has to be remember is from where you are speaking: West Coast versus East Coast..because, East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet!  To help you understand, I put a translation guide for your reference.

As you know, I do a lot of work with start ups, and giving people advice on marketing, sales, and business in general, but have always had a difficult time coming up with a good lesson plan until now.  Today’s post hopes to change that in a humorous way. I call it the: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE   Lesson 1:   A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.   Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.   After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.   The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?""It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.  ...

Subject: Letter from Management Dear Employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPED (Retire Aged People Early Departure). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFTED scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination Earnings Disbursement). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREWED program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers Earned Disposition). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons who are ...