Skip to main content

The Business of Marriage (humor)

While I am a big fan of Marriage, sadly in our modern age, it has become more about entering into a business contract that the blissful relationship of love.  And, since many now see it as a business I thought I would list some marriage wisdom, so to speak.   

+++++++++++
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
+++++++++++
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
+++++++++++
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
+++++++++++
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
+++++++++++
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
+++++++++++
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
+++++++++++
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
+++++++++++
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
+++++++++++
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
+++++++++++
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
+++++++++++
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
+++++++++++
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
+++++++++++
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
+++++++++++


AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

Footnote: For all those happily married, blessings and love to you, for all the rest of us, I know you understand!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Moldy Middle

While taking statistics during my quest to get an MBA and while earning my engineering degree, the professors always emphasized the importance of finding the statistical mean of any population by using the Central Mean Theorem (a.k.a the highest point of the Bell Curve). As an engineer, this was essential in order to maximize throughput, minimize cost and waste, and ultimately make a better, faster, cheaper widget. A funny thing happened on the way to the dark side of marketing. I discovered that the only thing in the middle of the road was quite literally dead road kill. I do not know if you remember stores like Bradlees, Ames and Service Merchandise (just to name a few), but they all folded because the environment changed and they were caught trying to service the mythological “average customer.” Part of that change came when Wal-Mart began its juggernaut with the discount department store. Wal-Mart did two things right: 1) Focused on “mobile” consumers, and 2) Fo
21 comments
Read more

The Saleman's Litmus Test

If your goal is to become a great company or even improve your existing one, every employee in you company should be able to “sell” the product or service that you are merchandising. Since that is usually not the case, you are forced to hire sales people to help implement the objectives laid out by upper management. A national study indicated that less than 3% of the population has an inherent penchant for sales, and as much as 50% of all salespeople really do not know how to sell. During my 20 odd years in sales, I have hired, worked with, and observed great sales people (yes, both men and women). Being the observant type and believing in best practices, I have complied a listing of questions you should ask any salesperson before you hire them, and should use this Litmus Test to review of your existing sales force to determine whether to keep them or cut them loose.  I hope you find it useful. Psyching Out the Test : People always try to answer questions the way they think yo
10 comments
Read more

Traits of an Entrepreneur

I will begin and end this article with two quotations. The first is from Edward Rogers: "You don't deserve to be called an entrepreneur unless you've mortgaged your house to the business." --Edward S. (Ted) Rogers  This one sentence pretty much says it all. Entrepreneurs are not necessary gamblers, but they are willing to put everything they own, or go all in, in order to make it happen. In the classical sense an entrepreneur is define as anyone who has possession of a new enterprise, endeavor, venture or idea, and assumes significant accountability for the inherent risks associated with the development, growth, and outcome. He or she is an organizer who combines land, labor, material resources, and/or capital to create and market new goods, products, or services. The term "entrepreneur" is loaned from the French and was first defined by the Irish economist Richard Cantillon, where the term was applied to the type of persona who was willing to take upon th
8 comments
Read more