The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?' she asked. 'I want to see Valerie,' the man named Richard replied.
'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,' said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to Richard she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, Richard pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he calmly left.
The next night, Richard appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.
Again, Richard pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night Richard was there yet again! Everyone was astounded that Richard had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to him, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'
The man replied, 'Delray Beach.'
'Really,’ she said. ‘I have family in Delray Beach.’
'I know.' Richard said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
While taking statistics during my quest to get an MBA and while earning my engineering degree, the professors always emphasized the importance of finding the statistical mean of any population by using the Central Mean Theorem (a.k.a the highest point of the Bell Curve). As an engineer, this was essential in order to maximize throughput, minimize cost and waste, and ultimately make a better, faster, cheaper widget. A funny thing happened on the way to the dark side of marketing. I discovered that the only thing in the middle of the road was quite literally dead road kill. I do not know if you remember stores like Bradlees, Ames and Service Merchandise (just to name a few), but they all folded because the environment changed and they were caught trying to service the mythological “average customer.” Part of that change came when Wal-Mart began its juggernaut with the discount department store. Wal-Mart did two things right: 1) Focused on “mobile” consumers, and 2) Fo...
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