Skip to main content

Lexiphiles (“lovers of words"). . . .

This post has to do with word-play… Something I truly enjoy.
Here are a few examples...


like: you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish (great album name btw) . . .

or: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me . . . .etc.).

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married . . . they fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it. (budget..get it?)

Local Area Network in Australia: . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone . . . it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was . . . fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture . . . a jab well done.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Moldy Middle

While taking statistics during my quest to get an MBA and while earning my engineering degree, the professors always emphasized the importance of finding the statistical mean of any population by using the Central Mean Theorem (a.k.a the highest point of the Bell Curve). As an engineer, this was essential in order to maximize throughput, minimize cost and waste, and ultimately make a better, faster, cheaper widget. A funny thing happened on the way to the dark side of marketing. I discovered that the only thing in the middle of the road was quite literally dead road kill. I do not know if you remember stores like Bradlees, Ames and Service Merchandise (just to name a few), but they all folded because the environment changed and they were caught trying to service the mythological “average customer.” Part of that change came when Wal-Mart began its juggernaut with the discount department store. Wal-Mart did two things right: 1) Focused on “mobile” consumers, and 2) Fo...

Fortune Cookie of Persistence

There are many things or factors that can determine a person’s success or failure, but one thing that cuts across EVERY successful person I have met or read about or studied is perseverance, persistence, stick-to-itiveness, and determination. As I say, "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The desire and ability to press on has and always will solve the problems of the human race and divide those who achieve from those who might have been." Incredibly, this ONE characteristic is really what makes a true entrepreneur as testimony to these little factoids: Coca-Cola only sold twenty five (25) bottles in its first year of business! They grossed $50.0 and spent $73.96 on merchandising. But they kept on going and never gave up, and nowadays the sell more than one billion bottles per day! Apple Computer co-founder offered the computer design to Hewlett-Packard five times and was rejected by both HP and Atari (the giant at the time) for acquisition. A...

I'd Rather Be a Pirate

Recently, I have had to make some presentations about what it takes to be an entrepreneur or start up a company, and what type of people I would hire or be associated with.  When asked, I usually come back with this question:  If you had a choice to sail the seven seas either with the Royal Navy or as a Pirate/Privateer, what would you choose? Incredibly, the answer to this simple question is really at the crux if you can be an entrepreneur or not.  One choice offers the prestige and power of a great power, and known and respected entity, at the price of having to conform to a certain system of rules and regulations based mostly on seniority and position not necessarily performance and merit.  The other offers a high risk lifestyle, but with some freedoms and the ability to join a group of liked minded individuals.  To sail to unchartered, risky lands; to fight for what you believe in, and to seize opportunities wherever you go. How you answer this questi...