The Perfect Husband?

Of course, there is NOT SUCH THING as a real perfect husband, but to all the guys who have ever done this, kudos. Fidelity is NOT about being faithful to someone else, but being true to yourself!
__________________________________

A man woke up in the morning still dressed with a terrible hangover, and could not remember what he had done the night before.

On the table next to the bed he saw two aspirins, a glass of water, and a note from his wife, saying "Honey, there is a hot breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. Love you lots!

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order; spotlessly clean. He quickly notices that the rest of the house looks extremely clean. He decides to get up and stumbles into the bathroom where notices he has a very swollen and very black and blue eye. After showering and shaving, he goes to the kitchen as he passes the hall he sees that the mirror is broken. At this point he is very perplexed.

He realizes that his son is in the kitchen and is eating his huge breakfast. The man asks the son what happened last night, why is the house clean, and my eye black?

The son replies "Well, last night dad you came home drunk off your ass, stumbled into the mirror, broke it, and hit your head on the bedroom doorknob.

Mom helped you to bed, and as she was trying to get your pants off you kicked her away, and said "get off me lady, I'm married!"

Comments

The Moldy Middle

While taking statistics during my quest to get an MBA and while earning my engineering degree, the professors always emphasized the importance of finding the statistical mean of any population by using the Central Mean Theorem (a.k.a the highest point of the Bell Curve). As an engineer, this was essential in order to maximize throughput, minimize cost and waste, and ultimately make a better, faster, cheaper widget. A funny thing happened on the way to the dark side of marketing. I discovered that the only thing in the middle of the road was quite literally dead road kill. I do not know if you remember stores like Bradlees, Ames and Service Merchandise (just to name a few), but they all folded because the environment changed and they were caught trying to service the mythological “average customer.” Part of that change came when Wal-Mart began its juggernaut with the discount department store. Wal-Mart did two things right: 1) Focused on “mobile” consumers, and 2) Fo

The Rush to Bottom

I cannot take credit for these words of wisdom, and sadly I do not know who wrote it originally. So, I cannot acknowledge them by name but I can acknowledge their exceptional talent to get a message across with clarity and hard-hitting truths. Whomever this author is, I thank and admire you and take pleasure in sharing this with others! I have also included a video if anyone is interested in sharing it. “When the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great...but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.” An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one wi

How Much is Enough?

I have been thinking about integrity and honesty, and frankly should humanity even continue, but that is another thread. In my thinking, I keep coming back to the same question: How much or little cheating is enough? Or stated another way? How much of a lie makes you a liar? How much cheating do you have to do to be a cheater? How much do you need to steal for you to be considered a thief? How much infidelity do you need to be considered an adulterer? How much fraud to you need to commit for it to be criminal? How much of the truth needs to be changed for it to be untrue? How much shit exactly, does something need to have to be considered a shit sandwich? How dead must a person be to be considered murdered? How pregnant do you have to be to be considered pregnant? OK, the last two were off topic but the answer is “any”.. Any amount of lying makes you a liar. Any amount of cheating makes you a cheater. Any amount of stealing makes you a thief. Any amount of infidelity makes you an adult

The Profit Prophet

Search This Blog