The Profit Prophet

RECENTLY a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes and cost as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.... First floor: The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor: The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor: This sign read, "These men hav...

Yes, today is a day we set aside why we are thankful, and for that, I am glad…but much like Scrooge was transformed to live Christmas in his heart every day, I am thankful always. I will not go into why or how. I am glad that at least one day is set aside for others to acknowledge their gratitude, but thought I would pen why I give thanks everyday I am thankful for nature, for it gives me beauty in unexpected ways and places I am thankful for my enemies, for they keep me strong and honest I am thankful for my faith, for it gives me light when I walk in the valley of darkness I am thankful for music, for it stirs the soul and awakens the spirit I am thankful for those who create, for they awaken a universe of possibilities and mimic the Creator I am thankful for the kindness of strangers, for they remind me of our divinity within I am thankful for great writers, for they share their wisdom throughout the ages I am thankful for sorrow and pain, for it makes me appreciate ...

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate... The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets." Happy Gardening.

Today post is just 10 funny, random thoughts or quickies. I guess it is appropriate in our ADHD / Frenetic world which you call life and going back to school. I hope you enjoy these little pearls of punditry. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America? I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunking.' Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in pri...

As you know, I like being informed and have been guilty spreading some falsehoods over the web due in fact for how easy it is to do. I now see what this has done over the years to some of my good female friends (and male) as indicated in the email I received the other day from Kimberly. Funny to see them all in one place! I hope you enjoyed the absurdities as much as I! Here they are : I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel. I can’t go to Wal*mart without wearing blinders for fear of seeing butt cracks and other things that might blind me! You know who you are that sends me these pictures! I laugh until I have to go to Wal*mart for more depends. I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imag...

Some time ago, I used to work for a company that come up with names for drugs. Yes, some of them were pretty funny, but actually, there is some science to it. ****WARNING*** this post contains some suggestive language, so if you get offended easily, please do not read (which means I know you are still going to read it!). Anyway, this is pretty funny, and I hope it gives you a chuckle! PHARMACOLOGY 101 The trade name is Tylenol® and its generic or common name is Acetaminophen. Aleve® is also called Naproxen. Amoxil® is also called Amoxicillin and Advil® is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra®. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra® will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by...

I recently posted a quotation on my wordecho blog about committing to action as opposed to committing to a goal. The quotation is: “Committing to a goal does not always bring action, yet committing to an action will invariably bring you to your goal.” --Jeffrey Fry I actually got some feedback on this in the form of a question: “But what if it turns out to be an action that doesn't produce the results you ultimately want. If you commit to a goal, then you will alter your actions to be consistent with fulfilling that goal.” This is actually an excellent question, but one that does not understand the difference between setting a goal and actually achieving it. Let me explain. You have a goal, but you commit to an action..case in point.. Losing weight: Many, many people commit to a goal, say losing 10lbs..and when they do not start to lose weight, then feel like they are failing. Now if you commit to the action(s) of eating right, going to the gym 3 times a week to ...