The Profit Prophet

RECENTLY a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes and cost as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.... First floor: The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor: The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor: This sign read, "These men hav...

Yes, today is a day we set aside why we are thankful, and for that, I am glad…but much like Scrooge was transformed to live Christmas in his heart every day, I am thankful always. I will not go into why or how. I am glad that at least one day is set aside for others to acknowledge their gratitude, but thought I would pen why I give thanks everyday I am thankful for nature, for it gives me beauty in unexpected ways and places I am thankful for my enemies, for they keep me strong and honest I am thankful for my faith, for it gives me light when I walk in the valley of darkness I am thankful for music, for it stirs the soul and awakens the spirit I am thankful for those who create, for they awaken a universe of possibilities and mimic the Creator I am thankful for the kindness of strangers, for they remind me of our divinity within I am thankful for great writers, for they share their wisdom throughout the ages I am thankful for sorrow and pain, for it makes me appreciate ...

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate... The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets." Happy Gardening.