Every year, the Washington Post puts out a request for its readers to submit alternative meanings to common words. They call it the neologism contest and below is the 2009 winners as judged by the editors of the paper. I really like how some of these “new” meanings actually make more sense than the old ones. The second list involves taking any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition. ____________________________________________________ Alternative Definitions: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), the state of being appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent, flaccid. 6. Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8...