The Profit Prophet

He is a humor about  why guys are happier. Now girls, you know this is true and how much I love you, but guys just have it easy. Yes, yes, yes, it is NOT fair, but it is what it is. Of course, not all women fall into this trap, but at least most of the guys do. Hope this puts a smile on your sunshiny faces? __________________________________________ Men Are Just Happier People: Want Proof? What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rent

Samson chained upon a wall With his strength gave it all Tumbled Temple with his might Forever gone was his sight Fire giver left in chains Raptors feast on its remains Gift of wisdom with the light Humans freed now delight Planets, moons, orbs in space Fixed, aligned held in place Nature’s pull on them so tight Against it so the orbits fight Bounded I am to this embrace Tied my heart with its full grace Hope eternal will alight Honor holds me to its bite     ---Jeffrey Fry

This post deals with things that on the surface look totally acceptable, but when phrased a certain way, well are like kind of stupid. The remind me something George Carlin would have said or written, and some might even be his. Anyway, thanks Tom Feige for the forward. I hope these bring some chuckles to your already great day! Enjoy, I did. Warmly, Jeffrey _________________________________________________ Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..

For all of you who love wordplay (which includes me), I think you will enjoy this lovely list of, um words! Enjoy, smile, and love heartily for life is too short to be little. Love, Jeffrey FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS) 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 10. A calendar's days are numbered. 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. (this is my favorite) 14. Those who get too big

Good morning world! OK, I know it is Fryday, and you have had a tiring week, and you just want to go drink Mai Thais, martinis and margaritas, but before you go off into the weekend, I thought I would humor you today with something that combines humor and, well, thinking! Of course, this will NOT be too tough, but I think you will enjoy it once you have been properly “caffeinated!” Anyway, so to make it more fun, I listed all the questions first, then again with the answers following. Some of these you might have seen before, but this is the first time I put the ALL together. Hope this NOT only stretches your mind, but your mouth into a smile as well. “Keep hanging by your thumbs and write when you find work (Mel Brooks).” Cheers! ____________________________________ He Didn't Break the Law A boy who was just learning how to drive went down a one-way street in the wrong direction, but he didn't break the law. How come? Women and Shoes One day, two mothers and two daughters w

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?' 'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.' The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.' 'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.' The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.' The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?' '1955, ma'am.' 'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need